1/16/25
Tongue Twisters
3x fast
Grant grasped at the grass.
Glen lent Gwen Wayne’s wrench.
Gene cleans queens’ screens.
Glum Gwendolyn’s glasses.
What's the difference between a sick person and seven days?
One is weak; the other is one week.
What's the difference between a dressmaker and a nurse?
One cuts the dresses; the other dresses the cuts.
Where's the best place to build offices for opticians and optometrists?
On a site for sore eyes.
How is an eye doctor like a teacher?
They both test pupils.
What do eye doctors sing when they test you?
"Oh, say can you see…"
1/13/25
How do you catch a fairy?
By its fairy tail.
How are spiders like ducks?
They both have webbed feet.
How big are centipedes?
One hundred feet long.
What would you get if two spiders wrestled?
Scrambled legs.
1/9/25
Knock K– nock
Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Ach.
Ach who?
Gesundheit.
Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Alfie.
Alfie who?
Alfie you later.
Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Algae.
Algae who?
Algae you in my dreams.
Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Ollie.
Ollie who?
Ollie do is dream of you.
1/8/25
Why do salmon swim upstream to spawn?
Because walking on the riverbank hurts their tails.
What's big, lives near the beach, and wears sunglasses?
A two-hundred pound seagull.
What do you call a beach that keeps losing sand?
A shore loser.
"Is that a surfboard?"
"No, it's a tongue depressor for my pet shark."
What's the best way to get around on the ocean floor?
By taxi crab.
1/6/25
What would you get if you crossed . . .
. . . a 50 foot Martian and a 300 pound chicken?
The biggest cluck in the solar system.
. . . a woodpecker and a lion?
An animal that knocks before it eats you.
. . . an octopus and a cow?
An animal that can milk itself.
. . . a porcupine and a skunk?
A pretty lonesome animal.
. . . a crocodile and a kangaroo?
Leaping lizards.
1/2/25
Tongue Twisters
Once upon a barren moor
There dwelt a bear; also a boar.
The bear could not bear the boar,
The bear thought the boar a bore.
At last the bear could bear no more
That boar that bored him on the moor.
And so one morn he bored the boar –
that boar will bore no more!
Who Bit the bold bald bear on the shoulder on the boulder and made the bold bald bear on the boulder bawl?
3x fast
Brandy bandaged the bear.
Bobby Bear’s B-B bean shooter.
The big bloke bled in the big blue bed.
Brenda Black was blameless.
1/1/25
Why did the Sheriff arrest the cook?
For beating the eggs and whipping the cream.
When is a jail not on land and not on water?
When it's on fire.
What kind of candy would a doomed prisoner like to have before he is hanged?
A Life Saver.
What did the comic say when the gangster stuffed a dirty piece of cloth into his mouth?
(That's an old gag.)
What did the prisoner about to be hanged say when he was pardoned at the last minute?
"No noose is good noose."
The biggest cluck in the solar system.
. . . a woodpecker and a lion?
An animal that knocks before it eats you.
. . . an octopus and a cow?
An animal that can milk itself.
. . . a porcupine and a skunk?
A pretty lonesome animal.
. . . a crocodile and a kangaroo?
Leaping lizards.
1/2/25
Tongue Twisters
Once upon a barren moor
There dwelt a bear; also a boar.
The bear could not bear the boar,
The bear thought the boar a bore.
At last the bear could bear no more
That boar that bored him on the moor.
And so one morn he bored the boar –
that boar will bore no more!
Who Bit the bold bald bear on the shoulder on the boulder and made the bold bald bear on the boulder bawl?
3x fast
Brandy bandaged the bear.
Bobby Bear’s B-B bean shooter.
The big bloke bled in the big blue bed.
Brenda Black was blameless.
1/1/25
Why did the Sheriff arrest the cook?
For beating the eggs and whipping the cream.
When is a jail not on land and not on water?
When it's on fire.
What kind of candy would a doomed prisoner like to have before he is hanged?
A Life Saver.
What did the comic say when the gangster stuffed a dirty piece of cloth into his mouth?
(That's an old gag.)
What did the prisoner about to be hanged say when he was pardoned at the last minute?
"No noose is good noose."
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you for taking the time to visit and comment. I appreciate your input.