Funny / Stupid Tab

Funny (And/Or) Stupid -  JUNE  

6/18/25
Knock – Knock.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Thatcher.
Thatcher who?
“Thatcher falling star and put it in your pocket."

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
The ants are.
The ants are who?
"The ants are, my friend, is blowing in the wind."

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Theresa.
Theresa who?
Theresa pretty around here.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Thermos.
Thermos who?
Thermos be a better way.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Thesis.
Thesis who?
Thesis a stick up.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Jimmy.
Jimmy who?
Jimmy all of your money!


6/16/25
"Why don't you wash your neck?"
"Then it wouldn't match my sneakers."

What should you do when your ear rings?
Answer it.

What do insurance companies pay you when you get a bump on your head?
A lump sum.

How do you keep a stiff upper lip?
Put starch in your mustache.

What part of a letter carrier's anatomy is the first to go?
Deliver.

6/12/25
What would happen if you cut your left side off?
You'd be all right.

What did the bored cow say as she got up in the morning?
"Just an utter day."

Why did the cow go to the psychiatrist?
Because it had a fodder complex.

Why are undertakers like true friends?
They are the last ones to let you down.

Why is doing nothing so tiring?
Because you can't stop and rest.

What did the surgeon say to the patient who complained about his operation?
"Next time, suture self!"

6/11/25
Tongue Twisters
Miss Smith lisps as she talks and lists as he walks.

"Are you aluminiuming, my man?"
"No, I'm copperbottoming ‘em, mum.

Mark's name makes Nate’s namesake shake.

I miss my Swiss Miss.
My Swiss Miss misses me.

3x fast
Much mashed mushrooms.


6/9/25
What would you get if you crossed a clock and a gun?
A ticks-shooter.

What is the safest way to talk with an outlaw?
By long distance.

Why did the outlaw carry a bottle of glue when he robbed the stagecoach?
So he could stick up the passengers.

Why did the outlaw brush his teeth with gunpowder?
So he could shoot his mouth off.

Why did the cowboy put a whistle in his 10 gallon hat?
So he could blow his top.


6/5/25
How do you welcome a skydiver?
"Glad you could drop in!"

How do you welcome the sailor?
"Nice to sea you."

How do you welcome the centipede?
"Put your feet, feet, feet, feet, feet, feet up."

How do you welcome an angel?
"Halo there, c’mon down.”


6/4/25
Knock – Knock
Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Root.
Root who?
"Root, root, root for the home team."

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Rough.
Rough who?
"Rough to see the wizard."

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Roxanne.
Roxanne who?
Roxanne pebbles are in my shoes.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Scold.
Scold who?
Scold enough to know better.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Scott.
Scott who?
"Scott the whole world in his hands."

Scratch, scratch.
Who’s there?
I'm too weak to knock.

6/2/25

What do cowboys put on their pancakes?
Maple stirrup.

Why do cowboys turn their hats up on the side?
So that three of them can sit in the front of a pickup.

"Jake, why are you dragging that rope?"
"Have you ever tried pushing one?"

CITY SLICKER: What do you use that rope for?
COWBOY: To catch cattle.
CITY SLICKER: Oh, really? What you use for bait?

Funny (And/Or) Stupid -  MAY  

5/28/25
Why doesn't a frog jump when it's sad?
It's too unhoppy.

What happened to the pelican that stuck his head into a wall socket?
He now has an electric bill.

Why are executioners so understanding?
Because they quickly get the hang of things.

What made the farmer yell?
Someone stepped on his corn.

When does a lion relax? 

When it's lion down.

5/26/25
Time Challenge Tongue Twisters
How many times can you say this in 10 seconds?

Horse hairs are coarse, of course.

Long lush lashes.

Polly planted potted plants.

Rigid wicker rockers.

Soft, smooth snake skin.

5/22/25
What would you get if a hen stepped into the ring with the heavyweight champion of the world?
Creamed chicken.

What kind of potatoes would you get if you stepped into the ring with the heavyweight champion of France?
French fright (fried).

What happened when the watch fought the heavyweight champion?
The watch took a licking, but kept on ticking.

Why is boxing the world champion like singing in a barbershop quartet?
Because if you don't look sharp, you'll be flat.

Why did the mother skunk take her baby to the doctor?
Because it was out of odor.


5/21/25
How do dinosaurs like their prey?
Terrifried!

What's the best way to keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.

What marks a turkey's burial site?
A gravystone.

Why do flamingos stand on one leg?
If they stood on no legs, they' fall down!

What helps Santa fly safely through hurricanes?
His rain deer.

When are chickens penalized at basketball games?
When they cross the fowl line.



5/19/25
Knock – Knock
Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
Alpaca mean punch so don't mess with me.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Amish.
Amish who?
Amish is as good as a mile.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Ammonia.
Ammonia who?
"Ammonia bird in a gilded cage."

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Amoeba.
Amoeba who?
Amoeba wrong but I think you're wonderful.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Amos.
Amos who?
Amos behavin.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Amy.
Amy who?
Amy name is Alice, my husband's name is Arthur.


5/15/25
What would you get if you crossed a cat with a shark?
A town without dogs.

Did you hear about the man who was so grouchy that his dog put up a sign that said "BEWARE OF OWNER"?

What would you get if you crossed a newt and a poodle?
A newdle.

What do you do when your dog has ticks?
Don't wind him.


5/14/25
What is the earliest known fruit?
Adam's apple.

Why was Adam's first day so long?
Because there was no Eve.

Who was the first nuclear scientist in history?
Eve. She knew all about Atom.

What did Eve do when she wanted sugar for her coffee?
She raised Cain.

How did Adam and Eve feel when they left the Garden of Eden?
Put out.


5/12/25
Tongue Twisters

Ernie's thirty dirty turtles dirtied Ernie.

Benny bought a bright brown blouse for Bonnie, but Bonnie believed Benny bought a better bright blue blouse for Betty.

Brownie Birdie was a bully.
Brownie’s bossy brother Billy Birdie was a bigger bully.
Brownie and Billy stayed busy by bullying their buddies. Both Birdie brothers were big, bad bullies.

Bridget builds bigger bridges then Barbara, but bridges Barbara builds are better than the bridges Brigitte builds.


How many times can you say this and 10 seconds?
Brown, black, blue.

3x fast
Big pigs in a big pig pen.

Bill built a brick building.

 

5/8/25
What did the banana do when it saw Billy the Kid?
The banana split.

Why did Billy the Kid set Dodge City on fire?
So he could be the toast of the town.

What was Billy the Kid's favorite subject in school?
Triggernometry.

What kind of bandit steals cats?
A purr-snatcher.

Why is a saltine like in outlaw?
Both are safecrackers.

What did the outlaw give his wife for her birthday?
A stole.


5/7/25
How do you videotape a beach party?
With a clamcorder.

What do crabs say when they are introduced at beach parties?
"Shell we dance?"

How do sharks introduce themselves at beach parties?
"Pleased to eat you."

How is the letter A like a rose bush?
They both have bees coming after them.

Where do you find frogs at football games?
On the cheerleaping squads.


5/5/25
"I have this terrible problem. Whenever I go shopping, I buy everything that is marked down."
"Why is that a problem?"
"Last week I bought an escalator."

Why do deer use discount coupons?
They like to save the bucks and lots of doe.

Why did the actress go to the bakery?
She was looking for good roles.

Why did the frankfurter bun turndown offers from Hollywood?
The rolls weren't good enough.

What's the best way to buy holes?
Wholesale.



5/1/2025
Knock-Knock
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Eamon.
Eamon who?
“Eamon the mood for love.”

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Earle.
Earle who?
“Earle I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.”

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Eclipse.
Eclipse who?
Eclipse my hair too close, that barber.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Edsel.
Edsel who?
Edsel there is, there ain’t no more.

Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Eel.
Eel who?
Eel feel better in the morning.

 Funny (And/Or) Stupid - APRIL

4/30/25
Tongue Twisters

Stacy Street tasted the tasty treats.
The treats tasted tasty to Stacy.

Are the soup and stew through?
The soup’s through, but the stew’s glue.

Something stinks and I think what stinks are the things in the sink.

3x fast
Sixteen slim, silky slippers.


4/28/25
Why didn't the sailors play cards?
Because the captain was standing on the deck.


What does a pickle say when it wants to enter a poker game?
"Dill me in."


Why did the outlaw hold up the river?
He heard it had two banks.


What is the difference between an outlaw and chocolate cake?
One hits the mark; the other hits the spot.


Why did the outlaw wear loud socks?
So his feet wouldn't fall asleep.


4/24/25
What did the rooster crow after a pasta dinner?
"Cock-a noodle-doo!"

What do sea creatures eat on their birthdays?
Crab cakes.

What do cats eat on their birthdays?
Mice-cream cones.

What do you call a cat that drinks bad milk?
Sourpuss.

What animal should you never play cards with?
A cheetah.

4/23/25
Knock – Knock
Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the F.B.I. Open up!

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Freda.
Freda who?
Freda hostages!

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Disguise.
Disguise who?
Disguise the limit.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Dismay.
Dismay who?
Dismay be my last knock-knock joke.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Domino.
Domino who?
"Domino cow hand from the Rio Grande."


4/21/25
Why did the businessman buy a herd of cattle?
His future was at steak.

How do cattlemen plan for the future?
They make long-range plans.

Why do cowboys ride in rodeos?
They like the extra bucks.

Why did the cowboy go to the rodeo?
Because wild horses couldn't keep him away.

"Doctor, ever since I've been riding in the rodeo, I haven't been feeling good. What do you think it could be?"
"Bronc-itis."


4/17/25
What would you get if you crossed. . .
. . . a skunk and a raccoon?
A dirty look from the raccoon.

. . . a telephone and a shirt?
Ring around the collar.

. . . a galaxy and a toad?
Star warts,

. . . an airplane, an automobile and a dog?
A flying car-pet.

. . . a watch and 4 cups of milk?
A quart watch.

. . . a rabbit and a lawn sprinkler?
Hare spray.

. . . a canary and an elephant?
A pretty messy cage.


4/16/25
Tongue Twisters
Moses supposes his toeses are roses;
But Moses supposes erroneously;
For nobody’s toeses are poses or roses
As Moses supposes his toeses to be.

Muscles with mustard is Mister Mussman’s main meal.

Mister Mitter admitted that he missed Mrs. Mitter.

3x fast
Mr. Melton made a metal motor.

4/14/25
What kind of cat chases outlaws?
A posse cat.

Who robbed stagecoaches and wore dirty clothes?
Messy James.

What is the hardest thing to deal with in a poker game?
A greasy deck of cards.

Why did the outlaw steal the deck of cards?
He heard there were thirteen diamonds in it.

Who is the toughest pickle in Dodge City?
Marshall Dill.


4/10/25
What you call a lazy a kangaroo?
A pouch potato.

What should you give a snake before putting it to bed?
A good-night hiss.

What does a cheetah get when it hits its head?
A CAT scan.

What do you get when your pet goldfish jumps out of the bowl?
Sushi.

What time to chickens wake up in the morning?
Five o’cluck.


4/9/25
Why do moths make good actors?
They’re attracted to the spotlight.

Where do butterflies go to dance?
The mothball.

What's a ladybug's favorite singing group?
The Beatles.

Where do spiders get their music?
On the Web.

Why did the whale across the ocean?
To get to the other tide.


4/7/25
Knock – Knock
Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Allison.
Allison who?
Allison Wonderland is a great book.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Alma.
Alma who?
Alma bags are packed, I'm ready to go.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Almond.
Almond who?
“Almond love with a wonderful guy."

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Alpha.
Alpha who?
Alpha crying out loud.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Amahl.
Amahl who?
Amahl yours.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
A Mayan.
A Mayan who?
A Mayan the way?


4/3/25
If a bee married a rodent, what would their children be called?
Brats.

"Ouch! I've just been stung by a bee!"
"Better put something on it."
"Too late. It flew away."

Why did the bee go to the doctor?
It had hives.

Why was the bull’s credit card canceled?
He wouldn't stop charging.

Where does a bull keep his business papers?
In his beef case.


4/2/25
What kind of book tells about all the different kinds of owls?
Who's Whoo.

What nationality are people from the Arctic Circle?
North Polish.

How'd you get through a patch of poison ivy?
You itch-hike.

What's the difference between a zoo and a delicatessen?
A zoo has a man-eating tiger, and a delicatessen has a man eating salami.

What's the difference between an animal losing his hair and a person painting a small building?
One sheds his coat, the other coats his shed.



Funny (And/Or) Stupid - MARCH  

3/31/25
Tongue Twisters

High roller.
Low roller.
Lower roller.

The hairy hare stares at the hairier hare, and the hairier hare stares at the hairiest hare.
Here we have a three-hare stare affair.

3x fast
The hare’s ear heard ere the hare heeded.

Horrible Heidi hears hairy Horace holler.

 

3/27/25
What did the thief get for stealing the calendar?
Twelve months.

Why was the photographer arrested?
He shot his customers and then blew them up.

Why was the fisherman arrested?
For packing a rod.

What did the burglar get for robbing the rubber band factory?
A long stretch.

Why is it hard to keep a bank robbery secret?
Because so many people who work in the bank are tellers.


3/26/25
Animal Books and their Authors

Why Cats Scratch

by Manny Fleeze

 

Keep Your Pet Healthy

by Ray B. Shot

 

How to Build a Better Mousetrap

By Kit E. Katt

 

Why We Love Garbage Cans

By Al E. and Tom Katt

 

Dogs Running Wild

By Ty M. Upp

3/24/25
Knock – Knock
Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Racine.
Racine who?
“Racine with the moon.”

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Wendy.
Wendy who?
“Wendy moon comes over the mountain.”

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Raisin.
Raisin who?
Raisin a racket with all that noise.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Rapture.
Rapture who?
Rapture presents with a large bow.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Raul.
Raul who?
Raul out the barrel.


3/20/25
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Taller.

Why did the guy use the daily paper for Kleenex?
He had a nose for news.

Why did the reporter buy an ice cream cone?
He was desperate for a scoop.

A young man applied for a summer job.
    “The job,” said the employer, “is for a garbage collector. Do you have any experience?”
    “No, sir,” said the young man. “But I can pick it up as I go along.”

FOREMAN: Come on, get a move on with that bricklaying.
BRICKLAYER: Rome wasn’t built in a day, you know.
FOREMAN: That’s because there wasn’t a foreman on the job.


3/19/25
What's the best way to raise King Kong?
With a jack.

What is King Kong's favorite flower?
Chimp-pansies.

What should you do if you meet King Kong?
Give him a big banana.

How can you tell King Kong from a banana?
The banana is yellow.

What's the best way to take down the monkey’s voice?
With an ape recorder.


3/17/25
Tongue Twisters

Etta taught her daughter that she ought to barter smarter.

Eight eager eagles ogled old Edgar.

Every errand Randy ran for Erin was in error.

3x fast
Eighteen apes ate eighteen apricots.


3/13/25
What is a geologist favorite dessert?
Marble cake.

What sweets do geologists like?
Rock Candy.

What do ghouls drink at picnics?
Ice-ghoul lemonade.

What do frogs drink at picnics?
Croak-a-cola.

What do dogs drink at picnics?
Pupsi-cola.


3/12/25
What would you get if a 50 ton duck stomped on the ground?
And earthquack.

What kind of dogs do vampires own?
Bloodhounds.

What's a cow's favorite movie?
The sound of Moooosic."

What's a crayfish’s favorite movie?
"Fiddler Crab on the Roof."

What you call a pig flying a helicopter?
A pork chopper.

What kind of spaceship do sheep fly?
Ewe F. Os.


3/10/25
Knock – Knock
Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Burton.
Burton who?
“Burton up your overcoat.”

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Buster.
Buster who?
Buster gut.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
Butter late than never.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Butternut.
Butternut who?
Butternut try to pick up a skunk.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Bwana.
Bwana who?
“Bwana hold your hand.”


3/6/25
ANGRY CUSTOMER: Those safety matches you sold me won’t strike.
STOREKEEPER: Well, you can’t get much safer than that.

APPLIANCE STORE CLERK: May I interest you in a new freezer?
LADY: No, I can’t afford it.
CLERK: It will pay for itself in no time.
LADY: Okay, as soon as it does, send it over.

LADY (in pet shop): Have you got any kittens going cheap?
PET SHOP OWNER: No, ma’am, all our kittens go “meow.”

BOY: Mister, would you sell me a shark?
PET SHOP OWNER: What do you want with a shark?
BOY: My cat is trying to eat my goldfish and I want to teach him a lesson.

CUSTOMER: Four bars of soap, please.
CLERK: Scented?
CUSTOMER: No, I’ll take them with me.


3/5/25
What do you find in air-conditioned banks?
Cold cash.

Why do bankers go to art school?
They like to draw interest.

What's a banker’s favorite dance?
The vaults.

What do sweet potatoes do when they play together?
They have yam sessions.


3/3/25
Tongue Twisters

Ned Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not.
So it's better to be Shott than Nott.
Some say Nott was not shot, but Shott swears he shot Nott.
Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot, or Nott was shot.
But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott himself,
Then Shott would be shot and Nott would not.
However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott but Nott.
It's not easy to say who was shot and who was not.
But we know who was Shott and who was Nott.

3x fast
Norse myths.


Funny (And/Or) Stupid - FEBUARY  

2/17/25
Tongue Twisters
Frank feasted on flaming fish at the famous Friday fish fry.

Can a flying fish flee far from a free fish fry?

Flat flying fish fly faster than flat, flying fleas.

3x fast
Free kiwis.


2/6/25
Why did the policeman put handcuffs on the front door of a home?
He was making a house arrest.

POLICEMAN: Do you know that's a stolen car you're driving?
DRIVER: Of course I do. How do you think I got it?

"Did you hear that the police caught a workaholic?
"What was he charged with?"
"He was resisting a rest."

What organized gang destroys wool coats?
The Mothia.

DIT: The police are looking for a man with one eye named Smith.
WIT: What's the other eye named?


2/5/25
Why did the doctor pour oil on his hands?
He wanted to be a smooth operator.

What does the polite surgeon say when he is about to operate?
"May I cut in?"

What did the man do when he found Chicago, Ill?
He called Baltimore, MD.

DOCTOR: Sorry I made you wait so long.
PATIENT: I didn't mind the wait so much, but I did think you'd like to treat my illness in its early stages.


2/3/25
Tongue Twisters

Betty better butter Buddy’s brother’s bagel.
But before Betty butters the bagel, Betty better butter boil and bake the bagel.

Bruce brought big biscuits.
Bob brought both briskets.

A box of biscuits,
a box of mixed biscuits,
and a biscuit mixer.

3x fast
Blake the baker bakes black bread.


Funny (And/Or) Stupid - JANUARY 

1/30/25
Tongue Twisters
The shepherd swiftly sheared the sleepy sheep with the sharp scissors.

Through rifts in the lofts, the soft snow sifts.
Then the white sheet lifts and the wind packs drifts.

“Stow your snowshoes, Sue.”

A tutor who tooted a flute tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or to tutor two tooters to toot?”

Timothy tapped on the tympani.


1/29/25
What show do to prisoners like to put on?
A cell-out (sell-out).

What do you call a sheep that hangs out with forty thieves?
Ali Baa Baa.

What do you call an elephant that hangs out with forty thieves?
Ali Babar.

What do you call someone who steals soap at camp?
A dirty crook.

How do hangmen keep up with current events?
They read the noose-paper.

What is the favorite sport of executioners?
Hang gliding.

 
1/27/25
What you get when you eat crackers in bed?
A crumby night sleep.

Did you hear about the soldier who bought a camouflage sleeping bag?
He can't find it.

Why do cowboys sleep on the range?
There isn't enough room on the refrigerator.

How quickly do eggs get ready for bed?
They scramble.

Which mountain is always sleeping?
Mount Everest.

1/23/25
Knock – Knock
Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Saber.
Saber who?
Saber – she's drowning.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Eiffel.
Eiffel who?
Eiffel into the lake.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Sahara.
Sahara who?
Sahara you today?

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Freddy.
Freddy who?
Freddy, willing, and able.

1/22/25

Where do you find bargains at sea?
On sale boats.

What do you say when you want to stop the ship?
Whoa, whoa, whoa the boat.

What do ships eat for breakfast?
Boatmeal.

SHIP'S CAPTAIN: Quick, operator! Get me an SOS!
OPERATOR: Sure. How do you spell that?

1/20/25
"I've been seeing spots before my eyes lately."
"Have you seen a doctor?"
"No, just spots."

NIT: The doctor finally cured me of seeing spots.
NAT: How did she do that?
NIT: She took away my dominoes.

"I went to see the eye doctor because I kept seeing spots. He gave me glasses."
"Did the glasses help?"
"Oh, yes, now I can see the spots much better."

What do you have if your head feels hot, your feet are cold, and you see spots in front of your eyes?
You probably have polka-dot socks over your head.

"Doctor, Doctor, my eyesight is getting worse!
"You're absolutely right. This is the post office."

DOCTOR: Have your eyes been checked?
PATIENT: No, they've always been plain brown.

 

1/16/25
Tongue Twisters

3x fast
Grant grasped at the grass.

Glen lent Gwen Wayne’s wrench.

Gene cleans queens’ screens.

Glum Gwendolyn’s glasses.

1/15/25
What's the difference between a sick person and seven days?
One is weak; the other is one week.

What's the difference between a dressmaker and a nurse?
One cuts the dresses; the other dresses the cuts.

Where's the best place to build offices for opticians and optometrists?
On a site for sore eyes.

How is an eye doctor like a teacher?
They both test pupils.

What do eye doctors sing when they test you?
"Oh, say can you see…"


1/13/25
How do you catch a fairy?
By its fairy tail.

How are spiders like ducks?
They both have webbed feet.

How big are centipedes?
One hundred feet long.

What would you get if two spiders wrestled?
Scrambled legs.


1/9/25
Knock K– nock
Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Ach.
Ach who?
Gesundheit.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Alfie.
Alfie who?
Alfie you later.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Algae.
Algae who?
Algae you in my dreams.

Knock- knock.
Who’s there?
Ollie.
Ollie who?
Ollie do is dream of you.


1/8/25
Why do salmon swim upstream to spawn?
Because walking on the riverbank hurts their tails.

What's big, lives near the beach, and wears sunglasses?
A two-hundred pound seagull.

What do you call a beach that keeps losing sand?
A shore loser.

"Is that a surfboard?"
"No, it's a tongue depressor for my pet shark."

What's the best way to get around on the ocean floor?
By taxi crab.


1/6/25
What would you get if you crossed . . .

. . . a 50 foot Martian and a 300 pound chicken?
The biggest cluck in the solar system.

. . . a woodpecker and a lion?
An animal that knocks before it eats you.

. . . an octopus and a cow?
An animal that can milk itself.

. . . a porcupine and a skunk?
A pretty lonesome animal.

. . . a crocodile and a kangaroo?
Leaping lizards.

1/2/25
Tongue Twisters
Once upon a barren moor
There dwelt a bear; also a boar.
The bear could not bear the boar,
The bear thought the boar a bore.
At last the bear could bear no more
That boar that bored him on the moor.
And so one morn he bored the boar –
that boar will bore no more!

Who Bit the bold bald bear on the shoulder on the boulder and made the bold bald bear on the boulder bawl?

3x fast
Brandy bandaged the bear.

Bobby Bear’s B-B bean shooter.

The big bloke bled in the big blue bed.

Brenda Black was blameless.


1/1/25
Why did the Sheriff arrest the cook?
For beating the eggs and whipping the cream.

When is a jail not on land and not on water?
When it's on fire.

What kind of candy would a doomed prisoner like to have before he is hanged?
A Life Saver.

What did the comic say when the gangster stuffed a dirty piece of cloth into his mouth?
(That's an old gag.)

What did the prisoner about to be hanged say when he was pardoned at the last minute?
"No noose is good noose."