I
AM PLEASED TO WELCOME AUTHOR
Brian
Halsey
TITLE: Snake Oil Salesman of the Week
RELEASE DATE: May 30, 2017
AUTHOR: Brian Halsey
CATEGORIES: Dark Comedy / Modern Folklore / Horror
PAGE COUNT: 106
ISBN: 978-1544111216
IMPRINT: Dark Serpent
AUTHOR BIO:
Brian Halsey is an American Literature teacher from New Jersey. He enjoys reading, writing, art and leg
dropping people from the top ropes. You
can find Halsey climbing mountains, swimming in oceans, and teaching his
children to launch perfectly crafted snowballs.
He believes in crisp high fives and the power of positivity. He is the type of dude who yells ‘KOBE’ every
time he shoots a basketball. The release
of his 2016 Ebook (Of Gods & Gators) earned him several million dollars,
which he quickly squandered on a high risk ‘Time Machine’ investment. Brian Halsey is set to return in 2017 with Snake
Oil Salesman of the Week, a unique blend of horror and comedy. You can find him on the internets for updates
and (un)professional tips on how to powerbomb your enemies into
oblivion.
Warning: Adult language in interview.
BANTER
– STUFF ABOUT YOU
Q: How would you describe yourself as
a color? Think personality here. Are you a light and airy pastel person, or
more of a deep, dark, sultry and mysterious color?
A: If I were a color it wouldn’t be
one single color, it would be a rainbow.
A rainbow consisting of only red, white, and blue. The colors of the American flag, the 3 most
beautiful colors in the world. Plus it would be flannel. If I were a color I would be a red, white,
and blue flannel rainbow. Final
answer. Damn, I nailed that first
question!
Q: If you could morph into any
creature, what would it be?
A: Tie: Michael Jordan in 1992. He was in prime form dunking and dropping 3s
all over Portland’s defense. And also,
‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin at Wrestlemania 23.
He was handing out stunners left and right. Vince McMahon, Donald Trump, Triple H...No
one was fucking safe from The Texas Rattlesnake that night.
If
you don’t mind me asking, why?
A: I do mind you asking, did you read
what I wrote? Self explanatory bro.
Q: When you think of a garden, do you
picture vegetables or flowers?
A: Neither, I think of beer. That is the only type of garden I have ever
been to. I don’t even really understand
this question.
Q: What kind of music do you listen
to? Do you have an all time favorite song?
A: Punk, grunge, metal, hardcore, an
unnecessary amount of powerviolence. I
don’t have a favorite song, but I listen to a lot of Every Time I Die. One of their guitarists recently agreed to
read my book (Snake Oil Salesman of the Week). I completely lost my mind and
choke slammed my 3 year old son through a dinner table.
Q: If your life were a movie, would it
be considered an action film, comedy, drama, romance, fantasy or a combination?
A: It would be a comedy where I am the
punchline of every joke, but I lack the awareness to let it bother me in any
capacity.
BOOKS
– ABOUT THE CRAFT
Q: How do you handle a writer's block?
A: Like a real man. I totally freak out and start smashing stuff
in my garage. I curse the heavens. I blame everyone but myself, then I get
belligerently drunk and declare I’ll never write again. By the time all of that is finished, I
usually come to the same conclusion:
Kill off my least favorite character and move on.
Q: What geographical locations are
your favorite and why?
A: I love cemeteries because they
remind me of the grim and inevitable finality of life. They remind me not to take certain things so
seriously because my time here is limited.
I like driving by the ACME parking lot in Cape May Court House where
teenagers vape and ride razor scooters,
it reminds me that no matter how much of an asshole I am...there’s way
worse out there. Additionally: The Grand
Canyon, Oslo Norway, and the beaches of New Jersey all provide scenic beauty
that inspires me.
Q: Do you like to read the genre that
you write?
A: No, but not for lack of
effort. Sadly no one else is dumb enough
to bother writing drunken modern Jersey folklore / wasted youth culture / punk rock horror / poorly timed, sarcastic humor, with an
awkwardly religious twist.
A: I’m pretty sure my wife hates it, but she is too kind and beautiful to tell me the truth. To many people, she is known as ‘Smart’ Sara, and this is so true. If she told me my books sucked, I would have taken my sweet ass time putting up a new fence around our yard.
BOOKS
- NOW LETS PROMOTE – STRUT YOUR STUFF
Q: What are you working on now? Would
you like to share anything about it?
A: I am promoting Snake Oil Salesman of the Week.
It was the book I always wanted to write. Fast paced horror and humor. On the surface it is wild and goofy, but if
you do a little digging, you will be rewarded with timeless wisdom.
Q: Do you have a new book coming out
soon? Tell us about it.
A:
Snake Oil Salesman of the Week
is OUT NOW!
Q: How can we find you? Do you have a
web page, FaceBook page or any buy links?
A:
Yes, I do. Here are the links.
Instagram > http://www.instagram.com/halseyfromthetopropes (or search
my name: Brian Halsey. It is set to
private, but I will accept anyone over 18)
Facebook: Halsey Brian
KEYWORDS: entertaining, bizarre, enthralling,
dark, comical, violent, redemptive, heroic, legendary, mystical
ONE LINER:
Andy
James is a pompous jerk on a quest for artistic greatness. Only the Devil stands in his way, and he
could care less.
SYNOPSIS:
Andy
James is an artist, a fighter, and a big time a-hole from the small town of
Tuckerton, New Jersey. While in pursuit
of artistic greatness, James comes across a shapeshifting (Jersey) Devil during
a chance encounter in the isolated Pine Barrens. Confident to a fault, Andy James believes he
can get the best of the Devil, but unfortunately loses his soul in the
process. Suffering from a carnivorous
rage that is a product of the Devil’s sourcery, James goes on a mission to find
his evil nemesis. The grueling hunt
leaves Andy beaten and taunted by the supernatural and human beings that
surround him. With time running out,
Andy’s fortune begins to turn when he discovers a loophole in his soulless
existence. Armed with sacred knowledge
and endless bravado, Andy James returns to the wilderness for a showdown
against the most ancient evil known to mankind.
BUY LINKS:
AMAZON US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XJGYFYB
AMAZON UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B06XJGYFYB
AMAZON CA: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B06XJGYFYB
BARNES & NOBLE: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/snake-oil-salesman-of-the-week-brian-halsey/1125980523?ean=9781544111216
CREATESPACE: https://www.createspace.com/6959519
Excerpt info:
The
below Amazon link has free chapters.
https://www.amazon.com/Snake-Salesman-Week-Brian-Halsey/dp/1544111215/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1496874143&sr=8-1
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reminder to the reader ~ before you leave be sure to take a look at the
Come
back and visit again.
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