I
AM PLEASED TO WELCOME AUTHOR
Ian
Strang
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
TITLE: The Grand Scheme of Things
RELEASE DATE: January 25, 2016
AUTHOR: Ian Strang
KEYWORDS: Humor, Funny, Absurd, Science Fiction, Fantasy, Writing, Alien Life
CATEGORIES: Science Fiction, Humor, Fantasy, Writing
PAGE COUNT: 456
ISBN: 978-1523272679
IMPRINT: Devil’s Tower
Author Bio:
Ian Strang is an independent writer and artist. He lives in Los Angeles, California with his wife Cheryl and several houseplants. THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS is his first published novel. He graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in Communications from California State University Long Beach, which to this day no one has ever asked to see. Ian works in the film industry as a lighting technician and rigging electrician. Writing is his only hobby, other than making sure the hummingbird feeder on the front porch doesn't go empty, but he sees that as more of 'his duty'. He is currently working on a sequel to The Grand Scheme of Things.
BANTER – STUFF ABOUT YOU
Q: Are you a morning
person, or a midnight candle burner?
A: Early mornings for
me are great because no one is up yet and everything is quiet. There's no
distractions. I also feel that my writer self is up before my procrastination
self has a chance to ruin any writing I need to take care of.
Q: Tell me something
you would like your readers (fans) to know about you.
A: I was in a
breakdance group when I was a teenager that won the Utah State Breakdance
Championship in 1986.
Q: Coffee or Tea?
A: I am definitely a
coffee drinker, but I do pull out the teapot whenever I get sick. I actually
love tea, but if I had to choose between the two I think it would have to be
coffee.
Q: How do you feel
about exercise?
A: I love exercise. I
run a little route near my house, about four miles. Halfway through I stop in
this empty parking lot and jump rope for about half an hour. Then I run home.
It's a way for me to escape my anxieties or frustrations. I put together a
playlist of certain songs that help me think of myself in some other world
while I'm running. And when I get back I usually feel a lot better.
BOOKS – ABOUT THE CRAFT
Q: When did you start
writing and why?
A: I started in high
school drawing comic strips for my friends. I continued that in my twenties and
then tried writing screenplays in college. Novel writing didn't come until my
thirties.
Q: Where do you get
your ideas?
A: My ideas come
mostly from how I see the world. I see it as both beautiful and completely
absurd at the same time. The fact that we're here for barely a blip of time in
the scope of the age of the universe is almost laughable. I can't see life any
other way but pure absurdity. I like trying to discover why people make certain
decisions, especially the ones that, from their perspective, are important to
them but from another perspective seem ludicrous.
Q: What do you think
is the hardest part of writing a book?
A: I think for me the
hardest part is actually writing. I play this mental game with myself where I
tell myself that I can't write and that I'm wasting everyone's time. I feel
like I have to constantly battle that voice in order to write anything down.
Q: Do you write long
hand first, or does it go straight into the computer?
A: I do both. I used
to write spec screenplays in longhand on those yellow legal pads, so in a way
it's easier for me to flush out ideas that way. Then I can expand on that idea
when I'm typing it on the computer.
Q: Are you a sit down
and play it by ear kind of writer, or do you need a structured guideline, or maybe
a little of both?
A: I'm a play it by
ear type, but I'm trying to be more disciplined. I'm a huge procrastinator but
I do very well in structured situations. Unfortunately, I'm my own worst boss.
I think structure would help my process and I'm trying to go more in that
direction.
Q: When crafting the
story do you go from beginning to end, or do you jump around writing the scenes
that are pushing themselves forward in your brain?
A: I definitely jump
around. I'll usually start in the middle. I'll stitch some ideas together until
I can see a story. Then, I try to find an ending. Knowing the ending gives me a
finish line that I can go towards. After I find the ending I fill in the rest
of the story.
BOOKS - NOW LETS PROMOTE – STRUT YOUR STUFF
Q: What are you
working on now? Would you like to share anything about it?
A: Right now I'm
working on the sequel to my first novel The
Grand Scheme Of Things. It's going to take place four and a half billion
years after the first story where everything has evolved as it should except
that the humans are no longer at the top of the intellectual pyramid.
Q: Do you have a new
book coming out soon? Tell us about it.
A: Right now I just
have my novel The Grand Scheme Of Things
which came out on January 25th. I'm hoping to complete the sequel sometime this
year.
Q: How can we find
you? Do you have a web page, FaceBook page or any buy links?
A: Yes, I do. Here are the links.
ONE LINER: The Grand Scheme of Things is a story about a humorous alternative beginning to the universe as told through the eyes of an egotistical supreme being.
SYNOPSIS:
THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO
THE GALAXY meets "Stranger Than Fiction," in which two humans are
accidentally sent to another universe and land in the middle of a story that is
being written by a supreme being who has just come out of one of history's
longest bouts of writer's block.
The author, Bill
Friday, decides that his novel will play out on a giant ball of dirt that he
calls The Earth, which, in his language means ‘profit making business
venture.’ The presence of the two humans
on the barren planet, however, has dramatic and historic consequences for The
Earth, and their existence threatens to ruin, not only the entire plot, but
possibly Bill's career as well.
“Clever,
insightful, and delightfully deranged, THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS takes our
universe and imposes gravity upon it, so it can be turned upside down. It is an enjoyable story about someone who is
unfit to be creating life—a cool comeback comedy that competently combines cosmological
conjecture, courageous career courses, and coping with creative commons
conflicts.”
–Logan J. Hunder,
author of WITCHES BE CRAZY
Excerpt:
Only
two days ago the Thingamabob had unceremoniously shut itself off and sent
everyone into a panic. It then turned
itself back on and then off again and it did this sporadically as if to toy
with the scientists.
In
the process of trying to locate the on/off switch, Barf and Simon ended up
disassembling the entire contraption down to its last quatt-node. Its parts were spread out all over the floor
like a toy chest that was upended by a hyperactive child who had just eaten a
suitcase full of candy bars.
“Almost
got it,” Barf exclaimed with excitement.
He was tightening one of the last spire nuts that held the Hastings rod
in place on the Thingamabob.
Simon
was busy replacing a burnt out reality inter-fuser.
The
two scientists worked feverishly trying to completely understand the machine
and all its functions. This wasn’t just
about finding two missing people, although that was certainly at the top of the
list of priorities, but it was also about understanding something that was much
bigger than they were, bigger than anyone was.
It was about the capabilities of the human intellect and its
achievements and the possibilities of where it could take them in the next
thousand years. Again, this was primarily about finding a missing
actress and a test pilot, but the pursuit of scientific knowledge does not come
without sacrifice, which is why Barf and Simon were both confident that if
Hannah and Buddy were never found again they’d probably get a touching tribute
or possibly have a street named after them or something.
Between
the Thing's intermittent on again/off again game it was playing with Barf and
Simon they conducted several tests, one of which included sending a hamster
through with a tracking device attached to its ear. Missing for several days, they finally
tracked the hamster to a nearby city where it managed to get a job as a talk
show host on a local cable network and was now pulling down six figures a
year.
Then,
they sent two more hamsters through and tracked them both to a quaint little
farming town where the two hamsters, who were once pretty good friends, had now
become bitter enemies and chased each other around the countryside trying to
destroy each other. They were eventually
eaten by two cats who, not surprisingly, also hated each other.
Simon
would later realize that the Thingamabob had only achieved Doublo Synthetic
Propulsion to Infinity and not Quattro Propulsion, which was required to fully
thrust the hamsters completely out of their realm of totality.
“Done!” cried Barf as he stood up and re-checked the Thingamabob’s main
accelerator hose. The Thing had miraculously
been put back together by the two men using almost every last piece, except for
the few nuts and bolts that were always casually lying around at the end of a
project and never seemed to belong anywhere, whether it was rebuilding an
aircraft carrier or putting together a credenza.
Simon stood up, staring at the Thingamabob. He was beginning to gain a newfound respect
for the machine that continued to baffle him completely.
“Do you think it’ll be worth it?” he quietly asked.
“Will what be worth it?” Barf replied.
“Think about it,” Simon looked up, “if we’re correct about this
machine, think about the possibilities.
New worlds, new galaxies, new universes, I mean, think about it,” Barf
noticed that Simon’s eyes were tearing up.
Barf walked over to him.
“I know exactly what you mean, my friend,” as Barf clapped his buddy on
the shoulder reassuringly.
He looked at Simon. He didn’t
really know what Simon was thinking, but he didn’t want to go into a long,
drawn out, teary-eyed discussion and reminiscing session about the
possibilities of the future and how important all this was. For reasons that only Barf knew, he felt that
getting emotional about science was like writing a love letter to your lawn. It was absolutely pointless.
“I feel the same way,” Barf politely replied.
Suddenly, Simon looked up at Barf.
His eyes were red with emotion.
Barf was afraid of this. Simon
had become too involved and too emotional.
He was too close to the project.
There was complete silence and the room had suddenly become extremely
awkward. Simon kept staring as if there
was something else on his mind, something that he needed to say.
“What is it, old buddy?” Barf reluctantly asked.
Simon wiped a tear from his cheek.
“We’re out of hamsters.”
Buy Links:
AMAZON US: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01AIKR60I
AMAZON UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B01AIKR60I
BARNES & NOBLE: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-grand-scheme-of-things-ian-strang/1118731237;jsessionid=1099C4B6F240AD8DE25DDDE3160241DF.prodny_store01-atgap06?ean=2940152798814
KOBO: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/the-grand-scheme-of-things-1
GOOGLE PLAY: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Ian_Strang_The_Grand_Scheme_of_Things?id=RMdcCwAAQBAJ
iBOOKS: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/the-grand-scheme-of-things/id1073875337?mt=11
CREATESPACE: https://www.createspace.com/5981316
A
reminder to the reader ~ before you leave be sure to take a look at the
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